NightBeforeChristmas

~Editor’s Note~

My House Rabbits have distinct personalities as reflected in Mr. Fritz’s poem. Mr. Fritz, who was just plain Fritz until he became a writer, is a New Zealand White and the character of my bunch. He is into everything and is sure that life revolves around him and him alone. Mr. Fritz is a trick rabbit. He will hop, hop, hop on his hind legs, then turn around and hop back the other direction all for a treat. However, if the treat is not to his liking, he will refuse to perform. Mr. Fritz came into our home via the Indiana House Rabbit Society foster program. He decided very quickly that he had found his forever home with us.

Velvet is a Castor Rex, sometimes referred to as a “Velveteen Rabbit.” She is a “pig at heart” and gulps her food as if she has had nothing to eat for days. When she isn’t eating, I believe she is thinking about it.

Miss Bea is an agouti-colored Netherlands Dwarf. She was named after Peter Rabbit’s Mum, Beatrice Potter. Miss Bea is a real little lady, very prim, proper and dainty, although she can sometimes be quite fiesty..

Hans Solo is a chocolate-and-vanilla-colored Dutch. He is laid-back and never causes a fuss. His idea of fun is racing around with a plastic grocery bag in his mouth, the bag streaming behind him like a super hero’s cape. Hans likes to settle down for a nap underneath his straw mat. He looks like a “bunny bump.” Hans was also a foster bunny. He too decided that he was at home after only three days with us.

-Deborah J. Lindsey

Hans was all sweet, quietly contemplating,

But as for me, Mr. Fritz, well, I was just waiting.

And then all at once, I heard an odd noise-

Hans and I knew, it wasn’t us boys .

I reared on my cage and peered down the hall,

And was almost convinced I’d heard nothing at all,

When what to my wondering eyes did appear

But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer.

There are gifts for Billy, Bob and Sally,

Even catnip for Cat who lives in the alley..

Gifts for Muffy, Rover and Roary,

But nothing for rabbits, it’s the same old story.

Ferrets, racoons, macaws and ratties,

Get all the good stuff! It’s driving me batty!

So tell me Santa, what will you do?

Rabbits just want a little Christmas too.

I waited to see how he would reply,

When he suddenly turned and looked straight in my eye..

"I've heard your complaint and it’s duly noted,

But I had to be sure all the elves had voted.

These days the Pole is all out of sorts,

It’s politically correct or I’m in the courts!.

My desk is littered with papers and writs,

I tell you Rabbit, I’ve wanted to quit.

My cookies and milk have all been replaced

With each individual’s particular taste.

Texas Kids leave me big bowls of chili,

With spices so hot it makes me act silly.

Some kids leave me sushi and rice,

And I’m sure it’s all very nice.

But listen up, Rabbit, and don’t you repeat it,

I can’t stand it and the reindeer won’t eat it.

I felt ashamed and laid down my sign,

Santa was having a really hard time.

I offered him nibbles of lettuce and carrot,

He ate one big bite and saved the rest for a ferret.

He then twinkled merrily, his usual habit,

“Now, let’s address this Christmas for Rabbits..

For all you Straight-Ears, Rexes and Lops,

Please rest assured we’ve not forgot!

As is stated in article fifteen,

I’m Santa Red and he’s Santa Green."

He then laid a finger to the side of his nose,,

And vanished from site, up the chimney, I suppose.

I viewed this new Santa with a critical eye,

And instantly disliked him, though I didn’t know why.

I think it had something to do with his smell,

For he reeked of bologna that had gone quite stale.

He was dressed all in green and shaped like a pear,

I laughed through my whiskers and tried not to stare.

His three-piece suit seemed overly dressy,

And he grumbled aloud that the reindeer were messy.

He dabbed at his wingtips with a monogrammed scarf,

And was so full of himself, I wanted to barf.

He was not what I’d call "A Jolly 'Ole Elf,"

But I kept these comments quite to myself.

He sighed a huge sigh and then went to work,

Opened his brief case and turned with a jerk.

A book of vouchers he held tight in his fist,

He tore out a few and then checked his list.

There were vouchers were guzzlers, womplers and razz,

And a CD recording of “All of That Jazz”.

Vouchers for spitlers, spotters and spanners,

But not even a hint of carrots or 'nanners.

He sorted carefully then made a neat pile,

"There now,” he said, with a smirky-smirk smile.

“Your tax dollars are evident; your government’s still working.”

He snapped his case shut still smiley- smirking.

“So, what say you, Rabbit of this new Christmas bright?”

I hoped he’d come closer, for I was ready to bite.

“Santa Green Unfair to All Rabbit Kind”

I thumped with disgust and showed him my sign.

'Twas the night before Christmas,

When all through the hutch,

Not a creature was stirring,

Well, not very much..

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

I wanted to nibble them but I didn’t dare.

The children were sleeping and dreaming of cake,

The rabbits were bright-eyed and quite wide-awake..

Miss Bea was washing and grooming her face,

Velvet was chomping without dignity or grace.dd text.

He vanished from sight swift as new fallen snow,

I closed my eyes, and then I said, "NO!"

"Rise up fellow Rabbits! This is Rabbit Abuse!

Vouchers for Christmas? That's a Humbug's excuse!"

But Velvet was napping with her belly all fat.

Hans was a "bunny bump", snug under his mat.

Miss Bea was snoozing, quite prim and proper,

But as for me, Mr. Fritz, I was a very Mad Hopper!

Then all at once I heard a loud clatter,

I peered down the hall to see what was the matter..

I twisted my ears 'round and then shook my head.

and standing before me I saw Santa Red.

He winkled and twinkled with a silverly sheen,

"I came back to check on this new Santa Green.

There was something about him, that wasn't so merry.

Frankly, good Rabbit, he seemed rather scary."

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Santa Red grinned happily hopping.

"Look here, Rabbit, I've been out shopping!"

He opened his pack and called me his "pard".

Then pulled out parsley, kale and swiss chard..

There were carrots, 'nanners

and a wood block to chew,

Rabbit hide-outs and toys,-

Red, green and bright blue...

There were raisins and apples, and a fine apple twig,

And shredded paper so tasty I couldn't wait to dig!

Santa Red laughed and held his huge belly,

It really did shake like a bowl full of jelly..

"All right now, Rabbit, please show me your trick,*

And if you don't mind, just call me St Nick."

I hopped on my hind legs up and down the floor,

Then turned around and hopped three times more.

"Bravo! " he said. "That left me quite breathless,

But I must be off now, my reindeer get restless."